Thursday, October 23, 2014

NO CHILD DESERVES TRASH BAGS!!!!!

From Trash Bags to Suitcases............ Let's Change the Way Our Foster Children moves from Home to Home





Foster kids don't deserve trash bags. Help buy them a suitcase. We Were You Foundation, Inc wants to provide 15 Sweet Cases to a foster children agency in Miami, Florida, to do this we will need to raise $375.00. Remember parenting a child is a matter of the heart. Not a matter of bloodline. Thank you for your support and donation......... Please share the link below :)

P.S. In order to make your donation you must click on the link......



togetherwerise.org/fundraise/WeWereYouFoundationInc

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Blessings.........My Earthly Angels...........

I remember the day we went to court and the judge gave us temporary custody. My husband and I just moved into our home and we only had two bedrooms, which was our bedroom and one extra room (that room only had one bed and a dresser in there). State law states that children who are in the system can not share a bed even if they are related. The social workers fought so much for us not to get the girls because of the one bed situation but the judged over ruled them and told me to get an extra bed as soon as possible and that he understood about moving into a new house (it happened so quickly we were shocked that we got them so fast that we didn't even have time to shop for them). My sister and I went to go pick up the girls but we had obstacles in front of us the social workers wouldn't release the girls to us stating that the judge told us to get them on another day, so we left and went home and I called the police and showed the police the court order that the girls were to come home with us and that's when the social workers released the girls to us. The foster parents gave us two bags of clothes........ When we reached home and opened the bag of clothes, all the clothes had maggots, had an awful smell, shoes were entirely too small, and majority of the clothes were small too. It was so bad that we had to throw those clothes and shoes away. We had absolutely nothing for the girls.

That same week I had to attend a reading/writing workshop. M.F. workshop was so amazing that she mentioned how she wrote a book and she dedicated to a young boy whom was a foster child and she briefly told us a story about him and when she went back to the school she met the young boy to give him the book he moved again to another foster home. Her story about him really touched my heart dearly that during one of our mini breaks I pulled M.F.to the side and told her how I just received temporary custody of two beautiful girls in which they are biological sisters and how one was actually my student. I also told her how they were handed to us and how we had no clothes nor shoes for them when they came to us. I also stated to her how times were rough because my husband had just lost his job right after we purchased our home.

So day two of the workshop everyone went to lunch and when I came back, M.F. planned a kids shower for me.  I was so surprised that they took the time out to plan a kids shower for me. My  fellow teachers also participated. They gave me clothes, shoes, monetary gifts, books, games, coloring books, dolls, teddy bears and etc. Just thinking back as I am writing this is bringing me to tears because they blessed me in so many ways that I will never forget them................

 
The breakdown came when M.F. came to me and gave me a speech that she posted my story on her Facebook page and how my story touched a lady life so much that the lady blessed my family with $1,000... I just broke down and cried because what she has done for my family. M.F. and C.S. are my earthly angels, they hold a special place in heart forever.

Then my sister went to work and told her co workers about us adopting the girls and how we had to throw all the clothes and shoes away, the next day my sister came to my house with clothes and shoes from her co workers.

People has told me numerous of times that the girls are blessed to have us in their lives but my response to them is No We are BLESSED to have them in our lives.


 

Saturday, May 31, 2014

Hurtful things they will say but Despite what they say you still love them UNCONDITIONALLY!!!!

On yesterday May 30, 2014, I went to my oldest daughter's classroom during our lunch time. I was told from her teacher that she got kicked out of her math class and was sent to her reading teacher for being rude and disrespectful. So the teacher told me that my daughter said she did not take her medicine and she has "hell" in her today. So the teacher asked me why she didn't take her medicine and I told her she's been sick with a very bad cold so I gave her cough medicine this morning and I did not want to double dose her with cold medicine and her ADHD medicine. The teacher understood that, so I went to my daughter and said why are you misbehaving today? her response was because she didn't take her medicine, so I asked her what did I tell you your medicine is for and she said for me to concentrate and I said yes, so that means you chose to misbehave because on weekend you don't take your medicine and you behave then. I told her this is my last time I tell you that your medicine is not for your behavior, its for you to concentrate on your studies. And when you misbehave its a choice. So, since you chose to misbehave me as your mother chooses to have you on punishment for the weekend is that understood. her reply was yes.......

Later on yesterday I received a text from my youngest daughter teacher about her behavior today (but with her she took her medicine). So after school my daughter comes to my classroom and I asked her what was your problem today and she came out and told me she didn't feel like doing work today and didn't feel like listening to the teacher, so I told her since you chose to do wrong I choose to have you on punishment. There is no excuse for you and your sister to misbehave.

When we arrived home their punishment started they had to write an apology letter to their teacher, they had to go in the corner and they were not allowed to play with none of their games and could not watch TV. We took all of their games out of their room. They had to be in bed at 7:45pm last night.

On this morning they were awaken by their father, he gave them breakfast, had them to wash their face and brush their teeth and put on some clothes. Their punishment this morning was to walk around the block and pick up trash. But before leaving the house with their dad this morning we had them in the room to explain their punishment and what they did yesterday in school was unacceptable. My oldest daughter says " YOU ALL DON'T LOVE US" "IF YOU DID YOU WOULDN'T PUT US ON PUNISHMENT AND THAT SHE HATES US", the youngest sister says "THEY DO LOVE US, ITS US THAT KEEP MISBEHAVING, THEY DO THINGS FOR US, THEY TELL US THEY LOVE US,THEY TELL US WHEN THEY ARE PROUD OF US, AND THEY TOOK US OUT THE SHELTER" THEY DO LOVE US DON'T SAY THAT, WE NEED TO STOP MISBEHAVING AT SCHOOL.

I asked my oldest girl to step out the room for a minute and I will talk to her one on one, next thing I hear is the door slamming and she saying she HATE US!!!! I started to cry because I didn't know why she would say something like that, so I went to get my husband out of the bathroom and told him that she left the house, so he got in his car and went to look for her, I grabbed my keys with our youngest daughter and went to look for her too as I am crying and praying my youngest daughter says mommy its going to be okay and we are going to find her. The way I went I couldn't find her.... So I went back to the house. Then my husband came home with her (she was found on the other block) and I cried as I hugged her so tightly and I said don't ever leave like that again we was worried about you, you may think because we punish you we don't love you but we love you for eternity and we punish you because the things you do we do not like and there will always be consequences behind your wrong actions. We are here to love you as well as to guide you in the right direction. We don't ever want you to go down that wrong road.

I explained that running away is a serious matter because anything could have happened to you. I explained too that words hurt and you can't ever take back what you said.... She apologized and said that she was sorry and I told her we forgive her and we hugged...... I told her that her punishment has extended and she will not be going to LEGOLAND next weekend and she said she understood and that She loves us and she is sorry again. Both girls did complete their punishment this morning...

I blogged this story to tell other adoptive parents that they will say very harsh things to you but at the end you still love them despite the hurt and you ask God to help you to help them even more and to understand them more because we really don't know what they really went through with their biological parents and when they were in the system as a foster child. As I am typing this I am still crying because my daughters are my life and I will go to hell and back for them. Don't ever give up on them let them know that you love them so much and that there's nothing that they can do but love you back!!!!

Be encouraged fellow adoptive parents and God Bless

Friday, May 23, 2014

My Ten Year Old Daughter's Night Terrors

This blog is quite different and it will be short. I am in need of HELP with my daughter night terrors. Terrifying and gut wrenching don't begin to describe the what seemed like endless nights of night terrors that we are having with our 10 year old daughter. My daughter has night terrors at least 3 to 4 times a week. She wakes up periodically throughout the night screaming, kicking and thrashing. She also has full conversations in her sleep. The fact that I am a very light sleeper, it scares me so much that I jump out of my bed and run to her room and I wake her up. When I wake her up she wakes up completely out of it and I either play gospel music or relaxing music in her room. At times she will go back to sleep peacefully or it will start again.  Her baby sister also tries to comfort her but it scares her too. When I ask her what happens she has no recollection of her episode. I did some research and went to read her file I discovered when being in the shelter she had these same episodes but she use to sleep walk but she has yet to sleep walk with me. It takes me a long time to go back to sleep because I am worried about her :(

She has a strict bed time, her bed time is at 9:00pm , So I honestly do not know what triggers her night terrors. Please help me with this issue I am having with my daughter. . Have you all experienced this with your own children? I am open to hear any suggestions that you all may have concerning the "Night Terrors"............. Thank you in advance for helping me with this issue.

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Life of an Adoptive Mother : My Begginings............

The day  I met my girls and their other siblings changed my life forever. I met them at my school and I was one of their teachers. I instantly had a connection with all of them. I love all of my students but these groups of kids touched my heart dearly. I cared for those kids like they were my own. My classroom was their restaurant, shopping center, and beauty salon. When they missed school I called their social workers to see why they missed school and to let them know that I've missed them that day. Every single day I went home and spoke about my girls to my family.

I found out that my girls were living in a shelter with other foster children. My sister and I went to court and asked for visitation rights, so that I can see them on the weekends and to take them out to special places. And I was awarded visitation :)

I've had several conversations with my husband about adopting them and at that time my husband mentioned to me that we don't have any kids of our own and he stated that we will discuss this matter later. I prayed and prayed because I knew in my heart that those girls belonged with us.

 But on this day my heart dropped in despair due to the fact that  I missed a day of work and when returning back to work the next day my assistant principal pulled me into her office to tell me  that my girls were gone and they have been placed in a home. I broke down and started crying in her office because I thought they were gone forever and I kept saying that I didn't say good bye and none of their social workers contacted me to tell me about this instant move. So, I contacted the social worker to ask them where were my girls and how can I see them and they stated since they been placed in a home your visitation rights were terminated. I WAS DEVASTATED!!!!! My whole world started crashing!!! I called my husband crying hysterically and he told me not to worry because they will be back to us. I just didn't see where my husband was coming from and I honestly did not want to hear him and as I think back my husband was speaking FAITH.

The Lord works in mysterious ways, So one day the social worker came out to my school to pick up documents for the girls and I asked her is it possible for me to adopt them. We both cried because I told her that they were my daughters and we are destined to be family. She stated that she will let the other social workers know that I want to adopt them.

We grew a bond that no one could have understood, Right after visitation our rights were terminated  My sister and I  went to court to ask for temporary custody and have them to stay with us until they found them a home but that wasn't enough for me, I wanted them to be my daughters forever. My family grew to love them too.

I wrote my girls judge and asked to have an emergency hearing to state my interest in adopting the girls. That same week I received a call from the judge secretary stating for me to come to court concerning that issue. That morning I was home and I told my husband that I was going to court to get our girls and telling him why we needed to get the girls and I'm going on and on and did not realize that my husband said God already dealt with him and told me to go get our girls. My husband stopped me from talking and said did you hear me " I said God already dealt with me pertaining that and go bring our girls home". I cried because that was confirmation that we were bringing our girls home.

This judge had compassion for kids and their well being. When the judge saw me, tears started to fall from his eyes and he stated I knew these kids were for you. He asked how does your husband feel about you all adopting and you all don't have any kids of your own and I told him my husband is in agreement with me and this is what God has put on us to do and we will have our own children down the line but these girls needs us now.

I was granted temporary custody of the girls that same day and I had to do start the Adoption class. My sister and I went to go pick up the girls but we had obstacles in front of us the social workers wouldn't release the girls to us stating that the judge told us to get them on another day, so we left and went home and I called the police and showed the police the court order that the girls were to come home with us and that's when the social workers released the girls to us. When the girls saw us my oldest daughter said I knew you were coming to get us and I knew you were going to be my mom. I just started to cry all over again because I loved them like I had birthed them.

When I was granted temporary custody of my girls they were 6 and 7. They were not properly potty trained and they were afraid of toilets especially when the toilet had to be flushed. One day my oldest girl went to use the restroom and she called me to the door crying, so I opened the door and she was just crying and I kept saying what is wrong with you and I flushed the toilet and she SCREAMED AND HOLLERED, so I started to panic and she kept saying I'm sorry I'm sorry and I told her there's no need to be sorry, why are you afraid of the toilet? She was unable to answer me. So that episode freaked me out so I started to read their documents and it stated that as a punishment their biological father made them sit on the toilet and flushed and flushed until he felt that they learned their lesson.

So until they overcame that obstacle I did not allow them to flush the toilet nor did I flush the toilet in their presence.

Until next posting see you a blog later !!!!!


Monday, May 5, 2014

Greetings Internet

So this is it,  my first blog post !

I guess I'll start by what I am looking for: 

I’m looking for my readers, the readers who are also adoptive parents who can understand my struggles, accomplishments, who have yet had any children of their own, and aha moments with my adopted children. Who I can bring resources, relief, and encouragement to. I want you to know what you are going through you are not alone, I can relate with you and we can overcome these obstacles together.  I’ll happily send a free short story to anyone who joins the mailing list.

I’m looking to learn from my readers as well as my readers learning from me. I want as much feedback as possible. I’m taking blog comments this way then I will  able to keep up with your thoughts, questions, or concerns.  It would be easy for me to stay within my comfort zone. But I believe no good artist does this, and I believe that hearing from you guys is the best way for me to keep on improving.

I’m looking to make a community. I want my readers to be able to speak to one another and to connect with other adoptive parents. I hope a community will grow on this blog, and also on the social media sites, I am using Twitter, Facebook and Instagram.

So in short, I’m looking for you, the person on the other side of the screen. My experiences are nothing without people who reads it, and I cannot grow nearly as fast without the energy and passion of the readers. You rock! It’s that simple. So as I gaze into the internet, mouse hovering over ‘post blog,’ I feel like I’m calling out, ‘where are you?’ I can't wait to hear from you :)

P.S. at times I will also post videos and pictures to my blog :)